Post by dafyddapiago on Sept 27, 2006 0:41:16 GMT
Tony Blair is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.
"Tony, John Prescott here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!
I've just received word that the Durex factory in Sheffield has burned to the ground.
It is estimated that the entire English supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."
"sh1t John - the economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies- we'll be ruined!"
We're going to have to ship some in from abroad... America?..."
"No chance!! Bush will have a field day on this one!"
"What about Scotland?"
"Maybe- but we don't want them to know that we are stuck.You call Jack McConnell - tell him we need one million condoms; coloured red, white and blue; twelve inches long and eight inches thick! That way he'll know how big the English really are!!" John calls Jack, who agrees to help the English out in their hour of need.
Three days later a van arrives outside Downing Street- full of boxes. A delighted Tony rushes out to open the boxes. He finds condoms; 12 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured red, white or blue.
He then notices in small writing on each and every one:-
MADE IN SCOTLAND SIZE: SMALL
Dafydd ap Iago
"Tony, John Prescott here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!
I've just received word that the Durex factory in Sheffield has burned to the ground.
It is estimated that the entire English supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."
"sh1t John - the economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies- we'll be ruined!"
We're going to have to ship some in from abroad... America?..."
"No chance!! Bush will have a field day on this one!"
"What about Scotland?"
"Maybe- but we don't want them to know that we are stuck.You call Jack McConnell - tell him we need one million condoms; coloured red, white and blue; twelve inches long and eight inches thick! That way he'll know how big the English really are!!" John calls Jack, who agrees to help the English out in their hour of need.
Three days later a van arrives outside Downing Street- full of boxes. A delighted Tony rushes out to open the boxes. He finds condoms; 12 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured red, white or blue.
He then notices in small writing on each and every one:-
MADE IN SCOTLAND SIZE: SMALL
Dafydd ap Iago
