Something to make you smile!

[dafyddapiago]

What do you call a Jazz musician without a girlfriend? Homeless

How do you know when a singer is at the door?
They can't find the key and when they eventually do they don't know when to come in.

What is the difference between the banjo and a trampoline.
You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Brain: A large human organ that controls thought and reason. distinguishes man from lower animals and musicians from the rest of mankind. In accordance with the principles of the theory of natural selection and evolution, the cranial space normally reserved for the brain is, in musicians, given over to lung capacity (so that they have, quite literally, blown their brains out).
In singers, the absence of brain matter leaves extra room for resonance. Science has been unable to discover whether conductors have been provided with any sort of replacement for the missing brain - but that's highly unlikely.


Dafydd ap Iago

[bruceg]

All superb but the second one's my favourite ;D

[rachel]

;D ;D ;D

[alisop]

In singers, the absence of brain matter leaves extra room for resonance.

Is that the head voice!

[smaca]

Interested to know funny situations you have witnessed either playing or watching t contests/concerts. Some of mine were;

1. Whitburn Contest when announcer introduced our band to feature a soloist. He commented "Band number 7 will now feature their euphonium player by playing Varied Mood. This title is an anogram of the famous euphonium player Ray Woodfield"----------(It was written for David Moore, with RW being the composer)

2. Doing a concert where back row were sat elevated on a bench, stood up to play a section of a piece, sat back down and the whole team fell backward off the bench and onto stage.(no-one was hurt, so I can laught at this one)

3. As a boy at a Glasgow Park, where trombone player(Willie Ward) was introduced to play the Acrobat, stood up, slipped and completed 2 back flips and a sommersault off stage onto ground with a bent trombone. Never known a title of a piece to be so relevant.

4. Mid 70,s at Scottish Regionals where begining of Spectrum was in full flow, horn player was blowing so hard he was purple in the face(but no sound) then during difficult beating the conductor leaned forward and pulled out a duster from the bell and flung it in the air. It landed right across the face of the 1st Baritone.

[dave]

At the Borders Contest a few years ago - just at the end of Strike up the band the percussion player races to the timps for the ending semi's - just gets them, trips and lands in a heap.

[bruceg]

dave said:

At the Borders Contest a few years ago - just at the end of Strike up the band the percussion player races to the timps for the ending semi's - just gets them, trips and lands in a heap.

Was that who I think it was? If so then he seemed to end up running round and vaulting obstacles everywhere we played ;D

[Louise]

dave said:

At the Borders Contest a few years ago - just at the end of Strike up the band the percussion player races to the timps for the ending semi's - just gets them, trips and lands in a heap.

That was one of the funniest things that I heard (I never saw it cause I was playing ) ;D ;D I believe a superman dive was order of the day ;D