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Post by princess on Nov 23, 2005 17:50:33 GMT
A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot annouces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed. So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Here you go, you crazy b!tch, iron this.
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Post by princess on Nov 23, 2005 17:57:00 GMT
Needs
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.
But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
The husband says " WHAT???" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth £200 each.
And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says "but you don 't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.'
The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says " I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register. "
The husband says, " no no no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife face goes blank.
" No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says " You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!"
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Post by pjaye on Nov 23, 2005 18:34:34 GMT
I actually know a lot of guys who would do that which is rather worrying
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Post by bertie on Nov 23, 2005 20:15:40 GMT
For someone so young you sure know a lot of guys
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Post by pjaye on Nov 23, 2005 20:20:06 GMT
yeah i know i have more in common with them plus the mojority of people in dunfermline town are male... unless you arent telling us something Albert
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Post by bruceg on Nov 23, 2005 22:04:27 GMT
Superb Lauren - keep em coming! You seem to have quite a supply ;D
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Post by bertie on Nov 24, 2005 7:05:00 GMT
...something that requires addressing, methinks... ;D
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Post by pjaye on Nov 24, 2005 15:45:55 GMT
Hmmm.... yeah only that its an unfair advantage against you blokes
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Post by bertie on Nov 24, 2005 17:43:00 GMT
I think that I can handle that
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Post by pjaye on Nov 24, 2005 17:48:44 GMT
yeah you would but that isnt the point! woman are unfairly represented and it sucks!
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Post by bertie on Nov 24, 2005 17:51:58 GMT
My point entirely Philippa, couldn't agree more
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Post by pjaye on Nov 24, 2005 17:52:42 GMT
i think i confused myself here...thats really not particularly great
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Post by bertie on Nov 24, 2005 17:53:35 GMT
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Post by pjaye on Nov 24, 2005 17:55:21 GMT
Good idea Albert you stay quiet cause you'll only give me stick tonight at band
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Post by bruceg on Nov 24, 2005 18:57:25 GMT
This thread is rapidly becoming worse than the two jokes that started it...
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